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Rego · Post by **Rego** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 12:16 pm

No, I truly think I am unattractive. When you go your whole life hearing how ugly and stupid you are you start believing it. You can say all you want about me, but it's gonna take me a long time to feel that way about myself. I more rather be modest than full of myself anyway.

Post by **drumlord** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:17 pm

Alunissage wrote:I could make a sexist generalization and say that men always fall for that ruse...but I won't, as my fiancé refuses to compliment me if I'm putting myself down.

Good thing you didn't, because that kind of sexist generalization gets overriden by the number one rule of men, that they can't understand women and don't know what they want.

Except that isn't so much a generalization as truth. I've been married over a year with 5 years dating before that and my wife still throws me a few curve balls where I have no friggin clue what she wants

---
Rego: You're wrong. But don't worry; everybody goes through the I'm unattractive hate self phase. Following that, if you truly are unattractive, you learn to live with it. If not, you finally realize. You fall into the latter. But don't forget, how attractive you are to other people is directly related to how confidant you are with yourself. If you constantly think you are ugly, everybody else will mimick it. It isn't cliche either; your entire body reflects how you feel. If you are depressed, you'll push your shoulders forward, droop your head, and look away from people who are speaking to you. With confidence, you'll never be afraid to socialize. I don't mean to be preachy or anything, but since going out of the dating scene to get married, I've learned so much that would have helped me in how I felt about myself, which in turn affects how others see you.

localflick · Post by **localflick** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:10 pm

Fishing for compliments or not, I've seen this happen at my other job a lot. While the people working in my section are all college guys, the girls that work there are alomst all in high school. They are told at school that they are ugly/unattractive etc... then come to work and complain about it, only to be met with the guys telling them what everyone in the MB has been telling Rego. Given enough time they realize the way things really are and find their self-esteem again.

As for the dating thing, give it time. When I was 15 my father died, and I was an emotionally depressed mess through most of high school. I didn't go to a dance until my Junior year. That was when I was finally able to function as a normal emotionally-stable guy. Until you deal with your inner demons, it's harder for people to see you for who you really are. Listen to Drumlord on this one, he knows what he's talking about.

Also, we guys don't always know what women mean! I know men who are pushing 50 and STILL don't always know what their wives want. If there were standards on this kinda thing we'd all have a translation manual saying "if she says this: It really means this:" but every fem is different, so we need to figure it out ourselves with varying rates of success.

Post by **Erroneous** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 5:30 pm

Rego wrote:No, I truly think I am unattractive. When you go your whole life hearing how ugly and stupid you are you start believing it. You can say all you want about me, but it's gonna take me a long time to feel that way about myself. I more rather be modest than full of myself anyway.

*hugs you tightly* please stop it kath

Angelalex242 · Post by **Angelalex242** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 7:01 pm

I would also point out that attractiveness is not merely your body, but it's also, partly, attitude.

So, by thinking you're unattractive, you in fact become more unnattractive then your body would suggest.

If, however, you go around dressing sexily and tell yourself you're a fine catch for any guy who cares to look at you, you might just find yourself reeling in a guy, sooner then you think.

phyco126 · Post by **phyco126** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 10:18 pm

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a334/ ... oo3404.jpg

There's my tattoo

Taken when I first got it almost two years ago

(Never did have the money to finish my back the way I wanted it though. Man, tattoos are addicting

)

Which is possibly why my wardrobe has been 90% baggy t-shirts and jeans...

Actually, you know Alunissage, I've often found myself more attracted to girls who dress normal, or in baggy sweats. Far more pleasing to my eye, and far more of a turn on than, say, victoria secret crap.

No, I truly think I am unattractive. When you go your whole life hearing how ugly and stupid you are you start believing it. You can say all you want about me, but it's gonna take me a long time to feel that way about myself. I more rather be modest than full of myself anyway.

You really really really arn't unattractive, rather the oppisit of being attractive. I know how it feels about going you whole life like that, trust me, I had to go through hell with it, more than most of the people here could possibly know or understand. Hell, most of the people I've gotten close with on the boards don't even know my past. Errr, anyway, I'm still struggling with my self-esteem. I still don't find myself attractive, but over the past two years I've made huge strides with how I view myself.

Part of that is not caring what people thing of me, because they have a tendancy to be wrong.

Also, there is a difference to being modest and saying that you ugly. Being modest is saying neither, that your an average looking girl. At least, that's how I see it.

And the fact that guys don't know what girls want, so freaking true. I never could understand those mixed signals coming from most women, or other stuff like that. Men just don't get women, if we did, then I'm sure we wouldn't be having this discussion right now

Just the same however, is some girls can't read men. They generally miss the clues that most men drop, which usually are clues telling them how they really feel and such.

Post by **Kizyr** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 10:26 pm

Angelalex242 wrote:If, however, you go around dressing sexily and tell yourself you're a fine catch for any guy who cares to look at you, you might just find yourself reeling in a guy, sooner then you think.

Yeah, do that and see what kind of men you 'reel in'.

Maybe I shouldn't get started on how people dress these days... KF

Angelalex242 · Post by **Angelalex242** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 10:39 pm

Wearing sexy clothing does not make a girl a magnet merely for the creeps of the world.

Though, in retrospect, it's probably not the wisest idea for a girl not yet skilled in sorting through the fact that both good and not so good guys would then be attracted to her.

And sexy doesn't mean hooker, by the way. That isn't sexy.

Sexy might just be the right color cocktail dress, or something.

Scorpioeyez · Post by **Scorpioeyez** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 1:10 am

Rego wrote:UGLY GIRL PHOTO'S HERE!!!:

*looks at photos.... checks to make sure that I'm still single* Yups..... you know, I hear Washington is a lovely place to take an autumn or winter vacation. Just throwing that thought out there. hehe

Post by **GhaleonOne** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 1:22 am

Seriously Rego, when I first saw your pictures I thought you were a very cute girl. Granted, too young for me, but I think you're way too hard on yourself.

Spirit Icana · Post by **Spirit Icana** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 1:31 am

Rego wrote:No, I truly think I am unattractive. When you go your whole life hearing how ugly and stupid you are you start believing it. You can say all you want about me, but it's gonna take me a long time to feel that way about myself. I more rather be modest than full of myself anyway.

You're ugly and stupid. But really, neither of those two things warrant the "unattractive" stamp, but if that's how you WANT to feel, be my guest.

Anyway, what kind of games do you like? Do you plan on getting Mario Kart DS by Christmas? Want to challenge me online soon after we both get the game and a WiFi Router?

localflick · Post by **localflick** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:06 am

You're ugly and stupid. But really, neither of those two things warrant the "unattractive" stamp, but if that's how you WANT to feel, be my guest.

Sarcasm doesn't translate well to text... at least I really hope that was sarcasm, and not just a very crass comment.

Spirit Icana · Post by **Spirit Icana** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:09 am

I was being serious.

phyco126 · Post by **phyco126** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:21 am

.....

Angelalex242 · Post by **Angelalex242** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:56 am

Let me just echo Phyco with a "..."

Rego · Post by **Rego** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:57 am

I see all of your points and Spirit Icana i think people are taking what you said the wrong way so you might want to clear that up. Honestly though, I have been working on my self-esteem. Some of the guys in my chemistry class are working with me on that (besides picking on me they are all pretty good guys in a sense...eh...sort of).

I've lost alot of wait over the summer just by going to work, and my hair is longer (which by the way it is a little past shoulder length and the longest that I have had it in many many years). But my guy-friends tekk me they want me with long hair so I do it for them because I cherish my friendship and trust their opinion, such as I trust all of yours.

I am a very modest person though, and when someone calls me cute I kind of shy away from it, so my modesty maybe a little too much.

Like I said, I am working on it.

Icada, by the way if you were seriously calling me stupid literally, then explain to me why I have strait A's in college level courses.

Spirit Icana · Post by **Spirit Icana** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:02 am

Rego wrote:Icada, by the way if you were seriously calling me stupid literally, then explain to me why I have strait A's in college level courses.

No, you'll have to explain that to yourself. Why do you get straight A's in college level courses? If I had to wager a guess, I would say it's because you work hard, study, and manage your time properly.

Does stupidity fall in line somewhere in here? You be the judge. Don't let others tell you who you are.

phyco126 · Post by **phyco126** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:03 am

Well, I don't know about all guys, but I tend to find long hair attractive on girls. I just find that it looks better that way (though once in a blue moon, some of the short haired girls I see look good.)

As for Icana, yes, please explain.

I remember when I had my hair grown out long, many, many, many years ago. If I had a scanner I would upload it when I got back from my mom's place tomorrow

Rego · Post by **Rego** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:06 am

Phyco if its an compilation to your self-esteem I think you rock lol. Thanks for you input, its valued.

Post by **Erroneous** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 3:10 am

*still holding* ignore them, ignore them all who are fools

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