For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

General talk. News, religion, politics, your daily life, whatever, it goes here. Just keep it clean.
User avatar
Nobiyuki77
Legendary Hero
Posts: 1292
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:16 pm
Location: New Milford, CT
Contact:

For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Nobiyuki77 » Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:26 am

Here's the scoop. So I dated a woman for about a month a while back, and then she disappeared on me. Then a week ago she texts me saying she wants to try again. I told her in no uncertain terms that it would depend on whether or not she was actually serious. We went on a couple of dates, and tonight I did something I didn't think was possible for me.

I told her I was done.

Like, she's a total babe, and I told her to take a hike. Well, not in those words, but the words I chose were basically "Well, either you let me into your world, or I'll find someone who will let me into theirs,". And she was silent. I looked her dead in the eye and told her "I guess we're at an impasse then," and ate. She told me she liked me and that she wanted me in her life, just no relationship. I told her that's a song and dance I know so well I can sing the lyrics by heart.

And the funny thing is... I feel good. Like, really good. I finally stood up for myself and stopped letting a woman jerk me around while she waited for something better. I told her take it or leave it. Her loss. It's too bad, I'd have liked to be with her, but it's just not worth being toyed with. I'm 30 now, and I'm done with the games. I've no time for them anymore.
-Nobi

User avatar
Arlia
Black Dragon Wizard
Posts: 259
Joined: Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:14 am

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Arlia » Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:11 am

Good. =) I'm happy for you. Sounds like you made the right choice.

User avatar
Sonic#
Pao Tribe Chieftain
Posts: 4552
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2002 3:27 am
Location: Here, there, everywhere
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Sonic# » Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:08 pm

Congratulations! It feels good to be able to determine when a relationship just isn't working. I should say, for the sake of completeness, that it's okay if it hurts too. I have never felt the experience to be so liberating; typically my guilt cripples me.

Did you tell her, "This is the last time you'll be seeing these?"
Sonic#

"Than seyde Merlion, "Whethir lyke ye bettir the swerde othir the scawberde?" "I lyke bettir the swerde," seyde Arthure. "Ye ar the more unwyse, for the scawberde ys worth ten of the swerde; for whyles ye have the scawberde uppon you, ye shall lose no blood, be ye never so sore wounded. Therefore kepe well the scawberde allweyes with you." --- Le Morte Darthur, Sir Thomas Malory

"Just as you touch the energy of every life form you meet, so, too, will will their energy strengthen you. Fail to live up to your potential, and you will never win. " --- The Old Man at the End of Time

User avatar
Nobiyuki77
Legendary Hero
Posts: 1292
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:16 pm
Location: New Milford, CT
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Nobiyuki77 » Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:33 pm

Thanks guys. I feel really good, but a touch guilty too. I'll get over it.

Sonic#, not quite like that, but I basically told her that we were done and I would spend my time pursuing other women who actually want to be in a relationship with me. Er, soon as I find her, obviously. :-P
-Nobi

User avatar
GhaleonOne
Ghost From The Past
Posts: 9055
Joined: Wed Dec 25, 2002 4:59 am
Location: Not of this world...
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby GhaleonOne » Sat Jul 16, 2011 6:05 pm

Good for you mate! Seriously, the best girl is the one you can just be yourself around and have fun with. Sounds like this girl wasn't it if she was playing the typical games.
-G1

User avatar
phyco126
Dragonmaster
Posts: 8117
Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2002 3:06 am
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado, USA
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby phyco126 » Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:41 pm

She told me she liked me and that she wanted me in her life, just no relationship.


I hate that. I especially hate it when they know it all along but decide that they can get you to open your wallet for them first.
Image

- "Sometimes life smiles when it kicks you down. The trick is to smile back."

User avatar
Nobiyuki77
Legendary Hero
Posts: 1292
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:16 pm
Location: New Milford, CT
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Nobiyuki77 » Sun Jul 17, 2011 4:35 am

GhaleonOne wrote:Good for you mate! Seriously, the best girl is the one you can just be yourself around and have fun with. Sounds like this girl wasn't it if she was playing the typical games.


Yeah. I just kind of realized it when I turned 30. I just don't have time for games anymore. >_> It's too bad though, she was a babe.

phyco126 wrote:
She told me she liked me and that she wanted me in her life, just no relationship.


I hate that. I especially hate it when they know it all along but decide that they can get you to open your wallet for them first.


Yeah, tell me about it. >>; I could tell she was just trying to get back with me because whatever it was she left me for in the first place didn't work out, she was feeling lonely, and just wanted me around to placate her loneliness while she waited for "something better" to come along. I've no problem with her wanting something better if I'm not for her. But I'm not here to make her feel better. She can get some other chump to waste their time, money, and heart on her for that purpose.
-Nobi

User avatar
Monde Luna
Blue Dragon Ninja
Posts: 691
Joined: Sat Aug 20, 2005 4:55 pm
Location: Between here and there

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Monde Luna » Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:38 pm

Good for you, you totally did the right thing. :D

User avatar
Kizyr
Keeper of Knowledge (probationary)
Posts: 8057
Joined: Wed Dec 25, 2002 7:36 am
Location: Marius Zone
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Kizyr » Tue Jul 19, 2011 1:20 am

Nobiyuki77 wrote:She told me she liked me and that she wanted me in her life, just no relationship.
...
Yeah, tell me about it. >>; I could tell she was just trying to get back with me because whatever it was she left me for in the first place didn't work out, she was feeling lonely, and just wanted me around to placate her loneliness while she waited for "something better" to come along. I've no problem with her wanting something better if I'm not for her. But I'm not here to make her feel better. She can get some other chump to waste their time, money, and heart on her for that purpose.

I know you already know this, but it might help to hear it from multiple sources. That's pretty much spot-on with the translation. "I want you in my life, but no relationship" = "I'm holding out for someone better and don't want to commit, but you can be a backup". Yeah, "no thanks" is the best response if you ask me.

So you feel good about it? That's actually great. Breakups can be hard on both sides sometimes (including the person initiating it), but they needn't always be.
...it's still ok to feel bad though. KF
~Kizyr
Image

User avatar
Werefrog
Dragonmaster
Posts: 2047
Joined: Sun Sep 18, 2005 5:58 pm
Location: Loch Tess, Winters
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Werefrog » Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:09 am

But this is going to completely ruin the "Will they/Won't they" plotline I'm writing into your life.

Sorry, I can only relate to life through unrealistic sitcoms. Seriously though, this seems positive. Don't let anyone ever string you along in any aspect of your life. This is advice I wish I could go back and tell the past me.

User avatar
Nobiyuki77
Legendary Hero
Posts: 1292
Joined: Tue Apr 01, 2003 5:16 pm
Location: New Milford, CT
Contact:

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby Nobiyuki77 » Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:38 am

Kizyr wrote:I know you already know this, but it might help to hear it from multiple sources. That's pretty much spot-on with the translation. "I want you in my life, but no relationship" = "I'm holding out for someone better and don't want to commit, but you can be a backup". Yeah, "no thanks" is the best response if you ask me.

So you feel good about it? That's actually great. Breakups can be hard on both sides sometimes (including the person initiating it), but they needn't always be.
...it's still ok to feel bad though. KF


I feel great about breaking up with her. I feel bad that she didn't want me as more than a backup. So that's the basic gist of the conflict. Overall though, I feel better. ^^

Werefrog wrote:But this is going to completely ruin the "Will they/Won't they" plotline I'm writing into your life.

Sorry, I can only relate to life through unrealistic sitcoms. Seriously though, this seems positive. Don't let anyone ever string you along in any aspect of your life. This is advice I wish I could go back and tell the past me.


If I could go back in time some 15 years and kick my own butt into gear, I would. I wouldn't mind disappearing if it meant giving the younger me a brighter future. :-P
-Nobi

User avatar
WhiteKnightLeo
Red Dragon Priest
Posts: 101
Joined: Sun Jan 24, 2010 8:55 pm

Re: For the first time in my life, I broke up with a girl

Postby WhiteKnightLeo » Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:38 pm

I also broke up with a girl for the first time my last relationship. Somehow, I managed to find a girl right after who loved to play Lunar...score. Just goes to show things can happen for the best. ^_^
Image


Return to “Almost Anything Goes Board”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests