Some more of my jokes

[Werefrog]

(I wasn't sure whether to put this in The Arts or Almost Anything Goes since it turns into a rant.)

Hello, L-Neters, I have another comedy clip posted on Rooftopcomedy.com. I'm trying to be much more deadpan in my delivery. I know that this is off-putting to a lot of people, but I feel that the funniest things are even funnier when the comedian pretends that it's not funny. I've been writing a lot of one-liners lately, but I'm also trying to write longer story "jokes" like you would hear from Seinfeld even though I prefer the one-liners both as a fan of comedy and a comedian.

This clip represents a bitter sweet moment. It's from a contest that I was in. I lost, but it was my best performance so far. It's vastly improved over the previous performance that I posted. I also got to see Drew Hastings, an amazing comedian who made a surprise visit to the contest. I'm really proud of my performance, but I'm upset that I was beaten by a comedian who is nowhere near my level in either joke-writing or delivery due to him bringing more friends to the club.

It was also the day before my birthday, so it wasn't too great of a present.

Anyway, I don't want this thread to be a whole big pity party thing. I hope that you all enjoy this performance. I love hearing positive feedback and constructive criticism (so long as it's really constructive criticism, some people don't seem to know what that means.), so please comment back.

ALSO, I have a chance to get in the race if enough people vote for me online. Online voting begins July 31st.

Edit: Also does this forum not support HTML anymore? I had to use BBCode to get this to work.

[exigence]

Not bad, the one that really got me was the bit about the never ending story followed by the male enchancement and gym class. As far as constructive criticism goes try to relax a bit you seemed nervous when your confident the audience picks up on it and i think they get into the preformance more. I also thought you could have used a joke about the audience, i know its cliche but i always like some of those thrown in if you can't laugh at your self what can you laugh at, you know.

[phyco126]

Your voice wavered, you stuttered a few times, and your pace kept going from good, to fast, to slow, to silence, etc.

Still pretty funny, keep it up.

[Werefrog]

Thanks for watching guys! Exigence, I really like the never-ending story joke too. I was afraid that it would be too obscure when I wrote it, but the response has been really good so far. I'm not very fond of the male enhancement joke myself. I'm a very hard critic to appease sometimes, and that joke just doesn't seem that fresh.

Phyco, yeah, I know I still have some delivery issues. Those are the things that really can only be worked out on the stage because it's always different once you get in front of people. I really have improved a lot in this regard though. I'll try to find the video of my first performance sometime. I'm not sure about the pacing issues, though. It's important for there to be silence in a comedy act (It's like the saying in music that the rests are as important as the notes). Talking while people are laughing is not really a good thing because then they'll miss the next joke. I'll definitely think about the whole going too fast and slow thing though. Thanks for the advice.

[Nobiyuki77]

There's some good material here, with the proper editing and delivery could be great stuff. I laughed a few times, which is more than I can say for some comics I've seen so you're already off to a good start with me.

Here's a possible example of a rewording I came up with off the top of my head.

"I get about 50 spams a day, most bearing the promise of 'enhance my masculinity'. I mean Jesus! Even in my EMAIL I can't escape the perils of my junior high gym class!" *laughter pause* "I'm just waiting to get the e-mail that reads "Dear Michael, we know you can't climb a rope." *laughter pause* "Just thought we'd let you know. Love, Viagra"

I too am fond of the Never Ending Story joke. ^^

[phyco126]

When I said pacing issues, I meant the inadvertent pauses and speed ups. Such as pausing when you are in the middle of the joke, almost as if you forgot what you where saying, or when you sped up like you are so nervous you wanted to get it done and over with.

Still, you already do far more than I ever can. I would rather shoot myself in the leg than speak in public. Unfortunately, school doesn't allow that to happen, haha.

[Werefrog]

Thanks for the advice and compliments, Nobi. I always enjoyed your webcomic, so your advice means a lot. I wrote a new joke yesterday. I like the concept, but I'm not sure what it's going to be like when I read it aloud.

"I have this friend who was adopted. The other day he called me from the store and asked me if there was anything that he should pick up while he was there. I told him… I hope you’re not in a mom and pop store. Because if you are… I think that you are going to find the name a little misleading."

[BattleMedic]

I personally like it, especially the sign langauge and the Anarchist cook book joke (I had to show my friends that one). Like exigence said, all you need to do is relax alittle more onstage, but that will come with time. I say keep it up!

[Benevolent_Ghaleon]

Thanks for the advice and compliments, Nobi. I always enjoyed your webcomic, so your advice means a lot. I wrote a new joke yesterday. I like the concept, but I'm not sure what it's going to be like when I read it aloud.

"I have this friend who was adopted. The other day he called me from the store and asked me if there was anything that he should pick up while he was there. I told him… I hope you’re not in a mom and pop store."

I think it's way better if you leave it this way. I think the joke is hilarious, by the way.

[Kizyr]

"I have this friend who was adopted. The other day he called me from the store and asked me if there was anything that he should pick up while he was there. I told him… I hope you’re not in a mom and pop store. Because if you are… I think that you are going to find the name a little misleading."

It's a good joke, but whether or not it's funny depends entirely on the delivery.

When I get time later, I'll watch your routine. I don't do stand-up comedy myself, but I do watch a fair bit of amateur stand-up in the DC area, and I try to give pointers based on what I've seen elicit good reactions. KF

[Sadrin]

Your getting better! Just try and make the jokes yours. I guess i'm saying that you should be more confident. You should post a new video each time you go on stage. It would be fun to see how you progress.

[Werefrog]

Well, I have an audition lined up for August 6th. It's for a local comedy festival called the Brew Ha Ha (it's a beer and comedy festival). It's only three minutes, so I'm going to have to pick out my best jokes. I think I have my favorites picked out. I'm going to write some transitions for the jokes and post it here to see what you guys think.

[Deathblood]

I hope it'll be as good as the last one. It made me laugh so hard I needed to play it three times just to get all that you said. But the new joke didn't make me laugh. But delivery is big in a joke. And reading a joke isn't anywhere nere as good as hearing somebody say it. And like the others said, you need to work on the studdering. If you can do a full strip without studdering, you will be on my list of favorite comedians. Good luck!

[Werefrog]

Thanks. The audition did go pretty well. I didn't get a slot in the show, but I was happy to just get 3 minutes of stage time. I got a ton of laughs too. I was worried going in because I didn't have any friends there that day, so the audience was a group of complete strangers. I have another open mike next Wednesday where I'll be doing all new material except one joke. This one will probably get posted on the Internet unless I completely bomb.

[BattleMedic]

Hey WereFrog, have you been doing any stand-up lately? How did the last show go?

[Werefrog]

Sorry that this took so long BattleMedic, but I've been really busy with classes lately.

The last show didn't happen, unfortunately, for a couple of reasons. First, my sister was moving to college the following day, so my parents (mainly my dad) wanted to stay at home. Also, the open-mike that I generally perform at is what's called a "bringer" show. This means that you have to have five guests to perform. This was a problem since most of my friends in the area were all moving back to college or in the process of moving back.

On the bright side, I will be performing tomorrow tonight at the comedy club that just opened up in town. I don't think I'll be able to post the clip online since this club isn't affiliated with Rooftop (yet...), and I don't have a camera. If I see someone with a digital camera, I'll ask if he minds recording my performance and emailing it to me.

[Werefrog]

I had another performance over break. http://www.rooftopcomedy.com/watch/Mich ... Jan7th2009

I'll admit now that there's some delivery issues on a few of the jokes. It may even be a step back. However, I'm happy with it because I was trying out all new jokes (except two). One of the jokes unfortunately fell really flat because I used an old topical joke. You'll see which one when you watch it.

I got a pretty good reactions to some jokes that I was very uncertain of, so I think it went well. I combined jokes from this time and other times to form a really good five minute set that flows incredibly well. I'll try that one out before I try new jokes.

[Sadrin]

Your getting better! I would like to see more current stuff being used and maybe getting people more involved? And really lose that paper! I think it kinda sets you up to not do well. I would think this person isn't going to be very funny from the get go, and then I'll be less likely to laugh if something is funny. How much time do they give you? You should capture yourself giving your friends and family interviews. You know about anything! Watch them and see how your doing. I think this might help with your speaking in front of others and help your natural flow. Just an idea. Can't wait for more!

[Werefrog]

I did comedy again for my spring break. Didn't go well. Horrible crowd response. I did the set with a lot of confidence though that you guys have never seen. I guess there's two ways that I can allow myself to see this. I could let this completely ruin my experience. Or I could say that this was just a bad audience or a bad night and that this just happens sometimes. I always knew that I would run up against bad nights. But, this felt like such a great performance in so many other ways. I guess I just always felt that when I had a bad night it would because I did worse than times in the past.

Pros of the show:
--No script (as per Sadrin's suggestion)
--Great transitions for all of the jokes except one.
--A lot of confidence
--Stuck with the performance even after my first few jokes bombed

Cons of the show:
--Audience response. I tried out some new jokes and maybe the response to these jokes were perhaps indicative of how good they were. But a lot of my old jokes that usually do well, didn't. So, I question the whole response.

In a way, I feel like I have grown as in the past, I would not have been able to make it through the whole show.

Edit: Also, Sadrin you said something about using more current material. I don't particularly know what this means. Do you mean material that deals with more current issues (which is how I read it)? If so, I really have don't think I have that many jokes that deal with old issues. I mean, I have that joke about spam. And, I have that joke about about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. But, that's about it.

[Nobiyuki77]

Bad crowds happen. If it happens say, 4 or 5 times in a row then I'd take a look at the material or the delivery.

Don't get discouraged. Especially in these hard times we all need a good laugh.